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This Week In Crazy: A Tournament, A Tournament, A Tournament Of Lies!

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This Week In Crazy: A Tournament, A Tournament, A Tournament Of Lies!


Are you ready for the American apocalypse? We are on the brink of major cataclysm, folks. It could be the Rapture, it could be Hillary’s Reich, or it could be Two Women Adopting A Child. These are the Last Days, and everyone wants the Last Word. It’s “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Nick and Sarah Jensen

JensensLike a toddler who would rather break his toy than share it, an Australian couple say that they plan to divorce if same-sex marriage is legalized in their country.

According to the Sydney Morning Herald Nick and Sarah Jensen believe that expanding the definition of marriage to include gay couples somehow diminishes or threatens “the sacred nature of the union and leaves the door open to polygamy.”

“My wife and I, as a matter of conscience, refuse to recognise the government’s regulation of marriage if its definition includes the solemnisation of same sex couples,” Nick Jensen wrote in an open letter.

Despite the fact they’re willing to end a 10-year marriage to make a point, the Herald reports that their marriage is apparently healthy.

But I suppose that while there are opponents of marriage equality literally threatening to take up arms, the Jensens’ peaceable protest-separation comes off as a comparatively sane response.

Via Raw Story

Next: Franklin Graham 

Sam Reisman

Sam Reisman is the former managing editor at The National Memo, where he still writes the weekly "This Week In Crazy" column. His writing has appeared in Flavorpill, The Huffington Post, Columbia Daily Spectator, and Bwog. He was the publisher of the 2010 edition of Inside New York, an annual guidebook to the city for students and young professionals.

Since 2011, he has co-curated and hosted Peculiar Streams, a showcase for NYC-based writers, musicians, comedians, and filmmakers. He is a staff writer at Mediaite, and blogs at SamReisman.com.

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  1. Michael Ross June 12, 2015

    Hey Pat. If that’s the case, why did God let Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin etc. grow up?

    1. FireBaron June 12, 2015

      You’re applying logic to a group that cannot comprehend logic.

    2. The_Magic_M June 12, 2015

      The whole concept is nonsense.
      People who believe if they pray, their health will get better (or they will get that job, or their team is gonna win) because “God” heard them, yet somehow the same “God” did not help the Jews in Auschwitz, or doesn’t help the poor “Chrisshuns beheaded by ISIS”. The cognitive dissonance is amazing.
      As soon as you claim “God” deliberately interferes with anything, you get into that moral conundrum.

      But then again Pat Robertson may believe each and every Jew killed by the Nazis was a future mass murderer and therefore “God” let it happen. Wouldn’t surprise me the least. (Waiting for that “Pat Robertson: Thank you, Adolf!” headline…)

      1. TZToronto June 12, 2015

        (Please forgive the following flippancy.) Maybe God, if she exists, just sort of set the whole thing going with the Big Bang and then sat back to watch what happens. Perhaps it’s like God watching a disaster movie. Maybe God enjoys all the action without actually getting involved in it. You know, “Huh . . . Let’s see what Hitler does today. This is getting interesting. . . . Wow! I never saw THAT coming”

        1. The_Magic_M June 12, 2015

          At least the non-interventionist god would be more plausible (if cruel). But I don’t think many believers see it that way. They need a god they can influence (through behaviour, prayer etc.) and one they can claim to speak for. (Why would the non-interventionist god need people to speak for him/her?)

          1. TZToronto June 12, 2015

            You’re right. A non-interventionist God would not need someone to speak for her. In fact, watching someone trying to speak for her might be amusing to her. The idea of a non-interventionist God makes a lot of sense and explains why bad things happen to good people. Trying to read the intentions of a non-interventionist God would be fruitless. Praying to a non-interventionist God would also be fruitless. Thanking a non-interventionist God would be a waste of time, too. Of course, as you note, such a God would be cruel or at least unfeeling, but evidence points to that being the case. How else can we explain the cruelty we have perpetrated upon each other? If God cared about her creations (Are we her creations, or did we just happen?) and their welfare, she would do something to keep us from killing each other and would make sure that we all have effective health care.

        2. ralphkr June 12, 2015

          On the other hand, TZToronto, we just may be part of a laboratory experiment gone wrong and God has been to busy with more important experiments to shut this one down. I must admit that I cringe every time some says that we are made in his image because I thing that is insulting God considering all that is wrong with the way the human body is designed.

          1. TZToronto June 14, 2015

            Maybe God forgot to turn off the lights when she went into another room.

          2. dpaano August 13, 2015

            Yeah, it doesn’t last very long either! You’d think he could have made us with longer-lasting bodies!!

    3. TZToronto June 12, 2015

      I guess he missed those babies.

  2. disqus_Cc20uRF6eN June 12, 2015

    Get a life, LOSERS !!…Self righteous BIGOTS

  3. dtgraham June 12, 2015

    That Beck must have Nazi tourette syndrome or something. He can’t talk about anything without bringing Hitler in somewhere. He actually says that he wants to be the Martin Luther King of fighting same-sex marriage. What?? That doesn’t even make any sense. What does that even mean? Yeah, and I want to be the Mahatma Gandhi of opposing people who talk loudly in restaurants about their bladder infection. Or maybe the Dalai Lama of fighting against guys who wear imported pairs of “home of Big Ben” boxer shorts. What the heck. Oh well. At least Glenn Beck gives lunatics and con-men a much needed role model.

    Pat Robertson has the answer for the Hitlers, Stalins, and serial killers who do get born. It’s all the gays’ fault. Same thing with that missing Malaysian plane.

  4. Grannysmovin June 12, 2015

    Nick and Sarah Jensen: If you choose to divorce each other over such a stupid reason – the rest of us care why?

    Franklin Graham: “The authors of the gospels were unlettered and ignorant men and the teachings of Jesus have come to us mutilated, misstated and unintelligible”
    Thomas Jefferson

    Lights Out USA: You minds collectively are so dark, confused, deranged, they should be buried 10,000 feet deep under the Cheyenne Mountain.

    Glen Beck and Pat Robinson: “Most sermons sound to me like commercials — but I can’t make out whether God is the Sponsor or the Product”. ~Mignon McLaughlin,

    1. dtgraham June 12, 2015

      It’s no wonder that most conservatives really aren’t fond of Thomas Jefferson. He was a man who was greatly influenced by the age of enlightenment. I’ve heard that Texas school books have been written in a way that minimizes both him and his importance.

      1. dpaano August 13, 2015

        Texas has schoolbooks???

    2. latebloomingrandma June 12, 2015

      Is the Cheyenne Mountain near where Dick Cheney lives? Maybe that could be his eventual burial ground also.

      1. ralphkr June 12, 2015

        Cheyenne Mountain is near Colorado Springs, CO, latebloominggrandma. It is home of the “super secret” (the quotes are because it was common knowledge before it was completed. Another one is in the Black Hills of South Dakota) nuclear survivable installation they started carving out of the mountain under 2,000 feet of granite. If you do a search you can find the plans and description including how the 3 story buildings inside are mounted on springs as well as photos. It has been featured in many movies & TV shows(at the very least the entrance appears).

      2. dpaano August 13, 2015

        YEah, he lives with bats!!!

  5. Daniel Jones June 12, 2015

    Dear Jensens:

    If they marry and you divorce, won’t that run directly counter your avowed distaste for same sex marriage?

  6. Dominick Vila June 12, 2015

    The first thing to consider is that those who advocate hatred, prejudice, and refuse giving others the same rights they enjoy are not disciples of Jesus Christ, but followers of Satanic cults. Jesus talked about loving thy fellow man, acceptance, respect, and helping others. The exact opposite to what the pseudo Christians are advocating. It is also important to note that nobody is forcing churches to marry gay or lesbian couples, what is being proposed are government marriages designed to achieve legitimacy, dignity, and the same rights as everyone else.
    Interestingly, the same people who oppose LGBT marriages are the same one that fear Sharia law, while unknowingly embracing its tenets.

  7. Leah Petersen June 12, 2015

    I wish I could find it now but I saw a screenshot of a Facebook post where a man linked an article about these two and said: “OMG I slept with that guy!”

    1. dpaano August 13, 2015

      How funny!!

  8. Bosda June 12, 2015

    Nick and Sarah Jensen :
    Please=please-please-PLEASE…do not divorce.

    Because then, you’d be single.
    And go to singles bars.
    And sleep with really-really drunk people.
    And have babies.
    Which would be bad.
    Because you’re Fugly.

  9. latebloomingrandma June 12, 2015

    If the Jensons divorce, will they still cohabit? The Bible is clear about not committing adultery, plus Jesus spoke about divorce, but nary a word about homosexuals.
    Franklin Graham might as well invest in several mattresses in which to place his millions, as he will be out of banks who believe as he does.
    I guess Glen Beck finally gave up on seeing Communist under every rock and has moved on to Hitler, who is much more in vogue these days.
    Pat Robertson needs to give it up already, People with dementia should not be exploited by being on TV .It’s weird that when God is the abortionist, it’s because the baby could have been Hitler (he sure is popular), yet when a woman wants an abortion, don’t do it, because the baby could be the next Beethoven.

    1. dpaano August 13, 2015

      The article I read in Daily Kos said they would still consider themselves married in the church, so I guess it would be okay, on their twisted world, to cohabit like bunnies!!!

  10. bhndr June 12, 2015

    As for the Jensen’s….. LET them divorce, it still doesn’t effect anyone at all, it won’t affect the same sex couples that have married, and it won’t affect the hundreds of heterosexual couples that are married. All that will happen is that these people will find out that their children are bastards with no rights or privileges and that they are completely without the benefits that are deserving of a committed couple. Then maybe they might comprehend the NEED for civil recognition.
    So let them waste their time and money and their marriage on a pointless and powerless “protest”. Its no big deal to the hundreds of thousands of people that remain married and healthy.

    1. johninPCFL June 12, 2015

      They’re not as famous as John and Yoko who protested the Vietnam war by staying home in bed.

    2. dpaano August 13, 2015

      Yeah, I don’t think they’ve really thought this out completely…..

  11. bhndr June 12, 2015

    As for Teddy Graham… Let him money, he will find out all the banks do business with gay people so what then? sleep with is money in a mattress? Besides which I doubt hat Graham will have much widespread support for his boycott call. People are quickly finding out that the consumer is NOT in charge , the banks will just get bailed out if they need and businesses will simply turn into conglomerates until the consumer is FORCED to buy what he/she is told to buy and pay what they are told to pay.
    Teddy Boy should at least take some of that money and get himself a dentist that knows what is going on.

  12. clcman June 13, 2015

    “Hillary Clinton is getting from Obama much more than the keys to the
    oval office. She’s inheriting the White House’s biggest darkest secret…
    one that takes the cake for the betrayal of the century. Forget
    Benghazi, forget Obamacare. This is so dark, it had to be buried 10,000
    feet deep under the Cheyenne Mountain.”
    Wait a second… the government’s biggest secret… takes the cake… buried under Cheyenne Mountain…
    Wait, why is the existence of the Stargate Program a bad thing again?


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